We are proud to introduce Debbie Does, the secret world of the Fashion Intern. If it’s your dream job, look away now… it’s not pretty!

Welcome to the Debbie does Dallas part of the Ballad Of… website, in this section we will explore the art form that is naked people having sex on camera otherwise referred to as porn. Just kidding, although looking through my portfolio there is a fair amount of nipple present!

So you want to be one of the cool kids? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to get in line because there are many, many thousands who have already taken the first step towards critical acclaim and acceptance in the ever-evolving world that is fashion. Now you should not take my skepticism seriously, I am after all a little jaded from another day dragging an over stuffed suitcase around London town. It amazed me how one day I can be in New York, eating in a 5* restaurant and the next week I’m jumping on the number 55 bus with a suitcase that’s almost as big as me (and as you may have guessed from the fact that the Ballad girls often frequent my house for dinner I’m not exactly petite). But so it goes on, good days, great day, exciting days and boring as hell days, such is life, such is fashion. Enough jibber jabber from me, you don’t care if it’s hard it’s want you want, so here’s how to get it or at least how I got it! The love of tiny rooms over flowing with clothing, the willingness to have no social life, the ability to kiss ass with a straight face, the understanding that you are completely replicable but most importantly the ability to use a steamer without inflicting yourself with 3^rd degree burns (I’m still working on this one), if you posses these qualities then please continue onto stage 1 – the internship.

My first internship was at the institution that is Bliss Magazine, now anybody who claims to have started reading Vogue at age 10 is a liar, or at least they’re missing out the fact that alongside it they were reading the likes of Just 17, Sugar and Bliss. Anyway so I started out with 1 week of work experience, still unsure what I wanted to do with my life I took the opportunity to learn something new about an industry that had enthralled me for so many years. One week turned to three, I was then told to leave and go to Elle, go to Vogue, go somewhere that would appreciate my love Margiela, Comme and all things couture. In fact the only people to responded to my many emails were the guys at LOOK! Magazine, not exactly high fashion but never the less another magazine for the CV. Here I sat in a tiny cupboard for 4 weeks sending back bag upon bag of hideous, cheap looking items from Boohoo.com and Primark. I was in fact the only person to last the full placement with the others mysteriously leaving, presumably with illusions shattered and ego’s bruised. I can only imagine the difficulty of finishing your degree only to be stuck in a cupboard; your opinion ignored and wages non-existent. Strangely enough I found if weirdly satisfying clearing the floor of discarded clothing, yes the pile would be there again tomorrow but that 10-inch square of dirty grey carpet was surprisingly uplifting. From here I moved sideways more that upwards to New! a similar experience to Look but with the added advantage of seeing my name in magazine who often used Jordon on their ‘get the look page’. I have fond memories looking back although at the time I did use to eat ridiculous amount of caramel snack-a-jacks to get me through the day, always in early and last to leave I felt more at home in a cupboard than my own bed! From here it was a 3 week stint at Drapers, a trade magazine doing it’s shoe look book, great I thought shoes, my favourite thing – not when they look they that they aren’t. Apparently that season it was all about fugly shoes, luckily when the catwalk showed its ware’s 6 months later their prediction had been wrong and shoe harmony was restored. Are you bored yet? I sure did move around a lot, nobody likes to keep an intern longer than 4 weeks, after 4 weeks there is some kind of legal jargon that requires you to be paid and well we can’t have that can we! Next off to Tank magazine, I was finally dipping my toe into the type of fashion that made my heart race; this was when I was introduced to the world of independently published magazines and their lack of budget. I was expected to carry a suitcase around London returning clothing from photo shoots without even my expenses paid; it was here that I first described myself as a courier in heel. To my family, who were all very skeptical of my career choice for I was expected to study Mathematics at Kings College London this seemed a little ridiculous. 4 months in and I was paying for the supposed privilege of working at a magazine that I didn’t even like that much. When Christmas rolled around I decided that I had had enough, 3 months in and no talk about money I needed something else. A photographer I met while at Drapers had taken a liking to me, being a well connected guy he recommended me to colleague of his at Vogue Russia and so my first fully paid assistant job came along 8 long months down my fashion journey.

A little overwhelmed at having to coordinate an entire fashion story for the jewelry editor at Vogue Russia I turned up at the office, just behind Vogue House notebook in hand and smile on my face trying to show no fear. Luckily I had picked a few skills along the way and went on to work steadily for her and the fashion editor over the next few months. I suddenly had a small amount of free time and began to put together a few of my own shoots with photographers I had met along the way. The first ever shoot I did was in the bathroom of my house and looked hideous, god knows what I was thinking when I put her in those outfits! If I wasn’t so ashamed I would post the pictures but that is a shoot I wish to put down to experience rather than publish online for the whole world to see. I fell off the wagon slightly after the Vogue Russia job, no longer content in being an unpaid intern I was searching for that elusive permanent paid position, my name on a master head and all the perks that go with being associated with a credible magazine. After a vigorous letter writing campaign my details were pasted along to a certain stylist who decided that my orange hair made us the perfect team. I continued to work with her for the next 6 months shooting stories for Love and Interview as well as advertising work for Oasis, Whistles, Clarins and Twenty8Twelve. Unfortunately it was not the happy ever after ending I thought when I received an email stating that my services were no longer required. Overwhelmed with anger and sadness for I felt as though my mentor had abandoned me and with my confidence was at an all time low I thought that maybe I’d had enough of the industry. However I found the thought even more upsetting and decided to power on through. Suddenly an offer came to travel to Sri Lanka for the Sri Lankan Design Festival and assist a retired fashion editor of Vogue, I said yes and began to feel like maybe it was going to be okay. She promised me the event was going to feature in ID and that she could help me find work on my return to London, unfortunately as with a great many people she was all talk and so on my return to London I took another unpaid internship at well respected but poorly funded London publication. Just 2 weeks in I got a call from prolific writer asking me if I would like to assist him in London while he shot a certain socialite for Harpers Bazaar US. I jumped at the chance, much to the indignation of those at the magazine, I returned after the job only to be taken ill and decided that actually my health was more important. Doctors appointments are not a reason for leaving early, in fact nothing is reason for leaving work early, even if given express permission by the boss I can guarantee the moment you take the first sip of your well deserved drink your smart phone of choice will start buzzing. Can you just do this, oh and that and possibly the other? I was a little fed up, I’m quitting fashion I declared much to the horror of those at Ballad HQ but the delight of my family. And yet here I am another 5 months on with the work rolling in and touch wood it will continue to do so. I am told my CV is impressive but it’s not enough, I am aiming high and the goal has not yet been reached. Who knows how long it will take but it has become very clear to me that I am not a quitter, as Boyzone once said ‘when the going gets tough the tough get going’!!!!!